Last week of April - week four at home

Time flies when you are having fun and when you are completely rewriting how your days routinely unfold.  As I mentioned to two friends earlier this week, I feel like my life has both contracted and expanded at the same time.  Seems strange... but our little world has been just that, not venturing out too far, learning to trust, love, play and explore, and to manage with greater patience and understanding tantrums, resistances, ups and downs, days not feeling so hot, on both sides. At the same time, what I think about daily is quite different from what I thought about prior to Ritesh becoming my son.  Activities that were much more peripheral in my life before are now front and center.  Playground, park, singing children songs and dancing, cleaning up and picking up the house, over and over again... simple outdoor play with the neighbors.... reading picture books, reinforcing new words, enjoying the various creatures that come through our yard.

I think that in the process of adoption, one thinks a lot about how the child will adapt, will it be scary, overwhelming, tiring, etc.  But those same concerns seems to be valid on the side for the adoptive parent too.  None of the books I read talked about that very much.  So I have been just taking it as it comes. 

Joys of parenting:
Smiles and giggles of delight with new discoveries and play; Kisses and full body hugs; Hearing "I lu lou"; Remembering to take joy is the simplest of pleasures; Seeing the world through your child's eyes and therefore rediscovering things you had taken for granted for a very long time; Having total clarity on priorities; Being for someone else and much less focused on yourself....

Simple new Joys of Single parenting:
Taking a shower from beginning to end with time to get dressed by yourself  (that has happened twice!); being the one who understands him the best; being the one who can comfort him; not having to negotiate decisions about what to do or how to manage his different stages and behaviors with someone else; having a moment with the kitty lying on my chest after he goes to bed and watching a movie (or part of one is more like it); having him stay with my mother and do beautifully on my first outings without him (they certainly are buddies!)

Challenges of single parenting:
Not being able to go anywhere without him... well, thanks to my mother, I have managed two acupuncture appointments; being tired most of the time; having to fit in chores, emails, telephone calls into the span of his nap which has gone from and hour and a half to 45 minutes (we are getting better at being able to do some of them together); inability to have an adult focused conversation without interruption; not having someone with whom to discuss decisions about how to manage his different stages and behaviors; not having someone to split the calls or plan making with; having no time yet for a real date with my boyfriend.