Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Last week of April - week four at home
Time flies when you are having fun and when you are completely rewriting how your days routinely unfold. As I mentioned to two friends earlier this week, I feel like my life has both contracted and expanded at the same time. Seems strange... but our little world has been just that, not venturing out too far, learning to trust, love, play and explore, and to manage with greater patience and understanding tantrums, resistances, ups and downs, days not feeling so hot, on both sides. At the same time, what I think about daily is quite different from what I thought about prior to Ritesh becoming my son. Activities that were much more peripheral in my life before are now front and center. Playground, park, singing children songs and dancing, cleaning up and picking up the house, over and over again... simple outdoor play with the neighbors.... reading picture books, reinforcing new words, enjoying the various creatures that come through our yard.
I think that in the process of adoption, one thinks a lot about how the child will adapt, will it be scary, overwhelming, tiring, etc. But those same concerns seems to be valid on the side for the adoptive parent too. None of the books I read talked about that very much. So I have been just taking it as it comes.
Joys of parenting:
Smiles and giggles of delight with new discoveries and play; Kisses and full body hugs; Hearing "I lu lou"; Remembering to take joy is the simplest of pleasures; Seeing the world through your child's eyes and therefore rediscovering things you had taken for granted for a very long time; Having total clarity on priorities; Being for someone else and much less focused on yourself....
Simple new Joys of Single parenting:
Taking a shower from beginning to end with time to get dressed by yourself (that has happened twice!); being the one who understands him the best; being the one who can comfort him; not having to negotiate decisions about what to do or how to manage his different stages and behaviors with someone else; having a moment with the kitty lying on my chest after he goes to bed and watching a movie (or part of one is more like it); having him stay with my mother and do beautifully on my first outings without him (they certainly are buddies!)
Challenges of single parenting:
Not being able to go anywhere without him... well, thanks to my mother, I have managed two acupuncture appointments; being tired most of the time; having to fit in chores, emails, telephone calls into the span of his nap which has gone from and hour and a half to 45 minutes (we are getting better at being able to do some of them together); inability to have an adult focused conversation without interruption; not having someone with whom to discuss decisions about how to manage his different stages and behaviors; not having someone to split the calls or plan making with; having no time yet for a real date with my boyfriend.
I think that in the process of adoption, one thinks a lot about how the child will adapt, will it be scary, overwhelming, tiring, etc. But those same concerns seems to be valid on the side for the adoptive parent too. None of the books I read talked about that very much. So I have been just taking it as it comes.
Joys of parenting:
Smiles and giggles of delight with new discoveries and play; Kisses and full body hugs; Hearing "I lu lou"; Remembering to take joy is the simplest of pleasures; Seeing the world through your child's eyes and therefore rediscovering things you had taken for granted for a very long time; Having total clarity on priorities; Being for someone else and much less focused on yourself....
Simple new Joys of Single parenting:
Taking a shower from beginning to end with time to get dressed by yourself (that has happened twice!); being the one who understands him the best; being the one who can comfort him; not having to negotiate decisions about what to do or how to manage his different stages and behaviors with someone else; having a moment with the kitty lying on my chest after he goes to bed and watching a movie (or part of one is more like it); having him stay with my mother and do beautifully on my first outings without him (they certainly are buddies!)
Challenges of single parenting:
Not being able to go anywhere without him... well, thanks to my mother, I have managed two acupuncture appointments; being tired most of the time; having to fit in chores, emails, telephone calls into the span of his nap which has gone from and hour and a half to 45 minutes (we are getting better at being able to do some of them together); inability to have an adult focused conversation without interruption; not having someone with whom to discuss decisions about how to manage his different stages and behaviors; not having someone to split the calls or plan making with; having no time yet for a real date with my boyfriend.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Week two at home
Highlights of the week have included trips to Brookside Gardens and the Horse stable in Wheaton Regional Park... he loved the horses, Canadian geese, ducks, turtles, fish and Robins. He trucks a long on the paths with me pushing a stroller that he never wants to get in. Run as much as you wish, little man. Build those muscles, build that appetite and prepare yourself for a good night sleep.
He also loves visiting his Grammy and Grandpa's house... we thought their two Greyhounds would intimidate Ritesh, but no. He is quite fine with their size now. In fact, he remains more interested in the cats than the dogs. I love how he embraces and kisses my parents. What a loving child. He also very much loves his visits with his Aunt Julie, Uncle Chad and Zachary. And our one visit with Aunt Therese and her youngest Xaris was a big hit! When he hears the voices of the neighbor children out front, he wants to go outside and play. He is very quickly entering into the fold of the young children that surround us on all sides.
Doctor's appointments have not been very fun. He had his first exam and vaccination Monday (he is now 23.5 lbs and 33 1/4 inches tall) and today we went back for them to draw blood and after the nurse dug at both of this little arms for the vein, they said they can't do it and we have to go to LabCorp. Great, another trip to a more intimidating place... I am not pleased to say the least. I think we have both been off all day as a result. But the day was absolutely gorgeous, so we got some outdoor time in. I am glad he likes to play outdoors so much.
My basement is almost finished. Having the entire basement finished during this time period has been a little challenging, but I am so happy I decided to do it. It is looking great. Lots of room for guests and a play room. However, it will be some time before I can afford to furnish it much.
He also loves visiting his Grammy and Grandpa's house... we thought their two Greyhounds would intimidate Ritesh, but no. He is quite fine with their size now. In fact, he remains more interested in the cats than the dogs. I love how he embraces and kisses my parents. What a loving child. He also very much loves his visits with his Aunt Julie, Uncle Chad and Zachary. And our one visit with Aunt Therese and her youngest Xaris was a big hit! When he hears the voices of the neighbor children out front, he wants to go outside and play. He is very quickly entering into the fold of the young children that surround us on all sides.
Doctor's appointments have not been very fun. He had his first exam and vaccination Monday (he is now 23.5 lbs and 33 1/4 inches tall) and today we went back for them to draw blood and after the nurse dug at both of this little arms for the vein, they said they can't do it and we have to go to LabCorp. Great, another trip to a more intimidating place... I am not pleased to say the least. I think we have both been off all day as a result. But the day was absolutely gorgeous, so we got some outdoor time in. I am glad he likes to play outdoors so much.
My basement is almost finished. Having the entire basement finished during this time period has been a little challenging, but I am so happy I decided to do it. It is looking great. Lots of room for guests and a play room. However, it will be some time before I can afford to furnish it much.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Settling in at Home
Ritesh and I got home last Friday. Mom (Grammy) picked us up and Ritesh was a champ in the car seat, except for some car sickness close to home. After about 30 hours of travel that is completely understandable. Our trip back was definitely challenging and tiring to say the least - probably more for me than for Ritesh who happily slept some on each flight. Three roughly 7 hour flights with a two year old alone is not necessarily an experience that I recommend. But, overall, except for some hysteria about being belted in on the first flight, he did just great. And handling jet lag hasn't been that hard for Ritesh either. He is fine with his getting up at all hours because then he goes to sleep again when he is ready. It is Mommy who has been having a harder time adjusting and recuperating. I think that yesterday was the first day I wasn't feeling like a total zombie. Lack of sleep, getting used to a small being being totally dependent on me and not really leaving my side at all, etc... Is there such a thing as toddler parenting culture shock?
But Ritesh is an amazing child, a true delight, inquisitive, quick to pick things up, very social and affectionate. He has very much enjoyed meeting family and neighbors. He seems to play well with cousins and neighbor children although "my my" is starting to kick in more. Oh, yes, he is a two year old. We have had delightful moments of kissing Mommy Grammy, aunt Julie, aunt Therese, Grandpa and Bill; joy on the first swing and slide; surprising excitement rather than fear of the dogs and cats; eating a fabulous meal at and Ethiopian restaurant (and liking everything on the plate including the greens), as well as tantrums about things he can't have or demanding moments for mother's constant undivided attention.
But Ritesh is an amazing child, a true delight, inquisitive, quick to pick things up, very social and affectionate. He has very much enjoyed meeting family and neighbors. He seems to play well with cousins and neighbor children although "my my" is starting to kick in more. Oh, yes, he is a two year old. We have had delightful moments of kissing Mommy Grammy, aunt Julie, aunt Therese, Grandpa and Bill; joy on the first swing and slide; surprising excitement rather than fear of the dogs and cats; eating a fabulous meal at and Ethiopian restaurant (and liking everything on the plate including the greens), as well as tantrums about things he can't have or demanding moments for mother's constant undivided attention.
Today I am feeling more well rested and hope I start to feel more enthusiastic and energetic about the different things we can go do and learn together.
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