Two weeks until take off!

When I first made my flight plans weeks ago together with Bill, it seemed like an eternity away - the day that I would travel to the other side of the world to finally adopt Ritesh.  And as I hear about how many of the other parents have already traveled to Nepal and adopted their children, I feel like jumping on the plane tomorrow!

But then I feel the pressure all around me about everything that people want and need from me, and all the arrangements, preparations, etc, that I need to take care of before I go.  Then I think, wow, only two weeks!  That's amazing!  Time is flying by.

I know that whatever I do over the next two weeks, it won't be enough, especially from the work perspective.  That is just the nature of the beast.  So, I have to just take a deep breath, give it my best shot, and when I get on that plane, leave it all behind for a while.  Now, I want to keep my eye on what is absolutely my highest priority and my deepest source of motivation: RITESH, his well being and his happiness.

As I prepare for this massive shift in my life, I am learning what has been a little challenging for me in the past - asking for and accepting offers of help.  It is really remarkable how generous the people in my life are!  Over the past two weeks, my Mom and Bill have both been real super stars in that regard.  I am so blessed.  Thank you everyone!!

Showered with Celebration and Gifts

Last week-end I found myself in the middle of more than one circle of celebration.  Two "toddler" showers in one week-end, Saturday and Sunday.  For the first time in months, on Saturday at Paz's (thank you Paz, Therese, Julie and Vivian for organizing such a fabulous event!!), I was able to let go of the months of self protection and have a totally cathartic moment.   So I did shed some major tears, even would have to admit to some actual sobs, but now it was out of total joy and being overwhelmed by emotion.  But because of that release, for the rest of the afternoon, and during my shower at Wilson and Sharon's on Sunday (thank you for a lovely gathering!), I was calm and feeling a growing ease. I am very grateful for the celebrations - the festive decorations, the lovely food, the thoughtful and generous offerings of gift, all for little Ritesh.  The only thing that would have made the week-end more perfect would have been having Ritesh already home with me.

The little guy has no idea how many adoring aunts, uncles and friends are waiting to shower him with love and affection.  And to see the gifts signed from "Grammy and Grandpa" really made it sink in; our little guy is going to be part of our extended family and circle of friends very very soon. 

What is also incredibly gratifying are the offerings of donations for the orphanage in Nepal.  Bill and I are planning to pack up lots of goodies, instruments, clothing, computer, camera and money for food and school fees to take with us.  What a wonderful opportunity for all of us to practice the perfection of our generosity.  I can't wait to get there and share with all of the gorgeous kids in Children Welfare Home.

Obstacles Removed!

On February 14th, Valentine's Day, I finally received the news I have been waiting for since October of 2010.  The efforts that we made to fulfill the US government's requirements for further evidence on Ritesh's status as an orphan were determined to be successful and I received a preapproval of my I-600, Petition to Classify an Orphan as a Relative.  This means that when I go to request the Visa for Ritesh to come home with me in Kathmandu, there will be no obstacles from the US government!


I am so grateful that this period of waiting and focus on bureaucratic processes is largely over, and I can now focus on the beautiful little boy who I will be meeting in mid-March for the first time.  I am starting to learn more about what his daily life is like in the orphanage from other families who have visited and the kinds of experiences he has probably had during his first two years of life.  I don't know if Ritesh has been told anything about me coming to meet him like other mommies and daddies have with other children at the orphanage.  It must be interesting and confusing to him to see other Western adults coming to play with them and then to see some of his playmates leave with them.  I hope this experience will make my arrival and our meeting less of a strange happening.  But either way, I know that the transition will be tough for him.  I want to do everything that I can to show him that I have come to offer him love, affection and tender care.  I want to try to think about how things will be from his side, and be gradual and gentle and playful so he is able to feel an ease with me.  I want to give him some time so he is also deciding that he is ready to be with me. 


While I am nervous, I am overjoyed by the idea that we will soon be together.  It is remarkable how you can have such strong feelings of love for someone who you have not yet met.  I feel overwhelmed by the power of the maternal feelings I have for Ritesh and my deep longing to hug and kiss him, and do what I can to bring him joy.  I am esctatic at the idea of being his mommy.  I feel that all that has come before in my quest for family was pointed towards this moment.  I wouldn't want it to be any other child who was about to be my son.  I hope that at some point he also comes to feel the same way that I was meant to be his mommy.